Yes, I'm in love!!!!!

How many times has Katie said "I really like this guy, he's so sweet". I'm so in love...it's different this time" "I met this really nice guy"????

If you are sitting there counting on your fingers, rolling your eyes, sighing, pulling your hair out,screaming at the computer screen. I'm telling you...it's a waste of your energy!!!

I've failed!!!! Twice!!!! Will this forever be held over my head? Will my mistakes of the past be something that my concerned friends (and don't get me wrong I DO appreciate the love and concern I receive from each and everyone of you), will never let me live down??? How does one measure when they are "ready" or not? When friends and family give the thumbs up? When I let everyone around me determine that enough time has passed for me to fall in love, or even begin looking for that matter? Does anyone believe me when I say I wasn't looking, he just was brought into my life???

I've struggled so much with who I am going to tell and who I am going to wait to tell, and just as I say that I am tired of trying to please teens at work, I'm tired of trying to please family and friends.

DEREK I AM DEEPLY AND MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!!

I've spent the better part of the last 4 yrs looking for someone I could love, take care of, trust, talk to , vent to, share my faith with, goof off with, read about farting dogs with in Barnes and Noble (yes we did this Thanksgiving weekend), be excited to hear his voice first thing in the morning, want to be with him everyday, smile when he tells me I'm beautiful, smile because I know he's thinking of me right at that moment, totally and completley be myself and not have any fear of him thinking I'm too weird, too serious, too ANYTHING!!!! I'm not judged for mistakes, and neither is he. Someone who understands what I struggle with emotionally, financially, and especially spiritually. Someone who gets me. Who knows how tough getting through to my teens can be. Who has been where I am in ministry and knows how to offer advice and love. Someone who KNOWS HOW TO LOVE, and does not throw anything from the past in my face and expect our relationship to grow from that. Someone who looks out into the world together WITH me, and not separatley. We see one another for all we can be. We love deeply, live happily and look forward to a day when 2442 miles will not separate us. Yes, I give you all that is Derek!!!!! :)

No, we are not getting married next month, next week, next year. I'm not packing up and moving to North Carolina, and he's not packing up and moving to California. We know where we will be in a few years, in each others arms. We know we will have people telling us we are rushing, we know there will be tough times ahead. We know we will face it all together.

I love each an everyone of you, and I want you to share in this new found happiness, but understand that Derek knows that if he hurts me that you will all be traveling to Mt. Holly to rip his limbs off. I don't want to hide from any of you the fact that I am in love. I haven't really hidden it per se, I just have not freely shared it until now and I am not going to keep it inside anymore!!!

I am not a fan of Jessica Simpson, but I know you are familiar with her song "With You". A yr ago I listened to that song, wishing I could feel that way about someone....now I DO!!!!!

Derek, I love you with all my heart, all that I am and all that I have and all that I'll be. Forever, and ever. I pray that the world sees how truly wonderful you are and how good you are for me!!!!!! (MUAH!!! MUAH!!!!)