Recognizing where I fail

I fail, as a friend, as a youth minister, as a sister, and a Christian. It's bound to happen!!! Temptation seeps into the soul when we least expect it and we sin. We separate ourselves from God. Satan is a tricky man and he knows where our weaknesses lie and he attacks.

All my life I have been nosey. I got it from my father. As much as I love my dad I have come to the realization that he had a gambling problem, he was lazy and he loved to gossip. I can recall many times when we would go visit family friends. He would sit in the kitchen smoking and talking. Sometimes it was about my mother, sometimes it was about my sister in law, sometimes it was about his bingo nights. Inevitably, there was gossip. Who's doing what and what's going on in this and that. It, for me, was a learned behavior. Women are catty, and we thrive on gossip, so I can't lay all the blame on my father, it's in my nature as a female to gossip.

I first became aware of it a few years ago when I just got tired of always being negative all the time. When I realized that my happiness depended on me and not what was going on in someone else's life. I needed to be happy with me. So I began to work on me and work myself away from gossip. It worked for a while and then I found myself falling back into the trap. "She said what?" "Well did you hear about..."and I was back to square one. I can honestly say the ONLY good thing about the tragic events of last yr and having no friends was just that....there was no need for gossip. You would have thought I had cured myself of the nasty habit......

Enter Church job...Churches are full of gossip and it amazes me that even in an office of 5-6 people gossip happens and it is happening now and I am being "accused" of living with a man...ok I do live with 2 but they are named Latte and Marley and they walk on all 4's so...ok there is truth to living with a male!!! I am dating a Lutheran...well, he's Methodist. I'm going to marry him outside of the church and leave the Catholic church....last conversation I had with Derek we are getting married at SLR by Fr. Jerry and I am not leaving the Church. I never will. Amazing. No one asked me if any of it was true I was told this is what is being said......"it could jeopardize your job if one of the parents of your youth finds out". As of late, because I questioned/offered advice to someone about their actions after they expressed concern of being "whispered" about, I am now faced with being accused of "holding back comments" due to the actions of two individuals over the weekend. I am being placed in this category of being the one who is dying to know about someoines actions. It's annoying and I don't know why it is being done to me. I figure if someone has something to share with me...say it don't try and get me to say "So what's the deal with...".just to see if "anyone else will find out cause Katie knows".

Being that I am aware of my failings and my problems with gossip I did some research and found this list to be helpful:

If you have been a gossiper, confess this as sin and ask Christ to forgive you. Repent by turning in a new direction and surrendering your tongue to Christ, not to gossip or bad-mouth again (1 John 1:9, 1 Cor. 7:10).

Keep your nose out of other people’s business.
If you can’t say something good or encouraging about others, then keep your mouth shut (Eph. 4:29).

Never criticize another person, except to their own face with an intent to help. Criticism can never be “constructive” if expressed to anyone else.
If your “friends” start bad-mouthing others to you, stop them in their tracks -- refuse to be a partaker of their sins (1 Tim 5:22).

(Well, I tried this and that is what got me in the "Holding back comments" aspect of this week)

Avoid association with persons who gossip (Prov. 20:19).

Ah yes...I believe a wise woman (you know who you are) told me this weeks ago. Thank you my friend...I will take it to heart

Please pray for me as I heal this part of my life!!!!