Driving home from church last night, I was listening to our Sirius radio. The song "Who Knew" by Pink came on. I love this song. Mostly I liked it for the actual music, not the lyrics. To be honest, I paid no attention to the lyrics at all when I first heard it. Last night I decided, hey I always say I like this song, but I don't know the words. So I really listened to them to try and get it in my head so I could sing along (Still need to do this with "Hey, Delila." LOVE that song)
That's when the lyrics, took me back in time for a moment. It was weird. It was like Pink took my life 7 yrs ago, and put it into a song...or at least part of her song:
You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh,
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh,
That's right
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew
This is completely how I felt more like 8 yrs ago....7 yrs ago at this time I was livid. But 8 yrs ago.....I would have defended my ex to the end.......who knew?
I'm not trashing him, I'm not being disrespectful to Derek. This song just kinda hit me. I find myself telling the youth at my church, "You just never know what can happen from one day to the nnext when it comes to relationships." It's true.
My ex and I were married too young, we had no idea the amount of work a marriage would take. We went in blindly, trying desparatley to "play house".....it didn't work...who knew?
I would not change one aspect of my life looking back now. If I had met Derek 8 yrs ago, or even 5 yrs ago, I would not have been fit to be his wife. I had to learn how to be a wife who cares for her husband, and family. The funny thing is, I learned a little from each relationship I was in between R and Derek. Not all of them were the best situations to be in, but it helped me to learn who I was, how I wanted to be treated as a woman, a wife, and eventually a mother, and how I wanted to cherish, love and honor my husband.
I still falter. The house may not be always the cleanest (though scrubbing the walls last week sure made me feel like Susie Homemaker), the clothes still need folding, and the vacuum needs to be run this afternoon. But we make it work because we do things together. We're in it for the long haul.
Who knew? God seemed to. While I miss the friendship I once had with my ex, I am greatful for the lessons he taught me, and I am greatful that every once in a while we remember the friendship, and keep in contact..........
And I am greatful that he helped me become Derek's wife.
:)
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Drama be gone.
I recently had an "argument" with a former youth. What about? Well, he seems to think that I am prying in on the business of the former youth group, and trying to tell the interim YM how to run things. Not true.
You see, this Interim was one of my volunteers and when the last YM was let go, she stepped up to help make sure the group was kept going. She along with another volunteer I had out in CA kept some key programs running at the church over the last few months. Along, with the leadership team that was in place before I got there and when I left, they have done an amaxing job and I am so proud of their hard work and dedication. I digress.
This interim has come to me asking my advice and what procedures to follow regarding the ministry. I have offered her advice, and she is free to take it, use it, or not. The choice is hers.
Well, what does this have to do with a former youth? I'll tell you. This former youth began to like another youth group member. No big deal right? Wrong. Said former youth is 18....in college....a young adult volunteer (who is trying to play himself off as "still a member of youth ministry.")...and the youth he likes (and wants to date)is 16. Anyone see anything wrong here? Interim asked what to do. I told her to look up what the Diocese says, and to discuss it with this young adult and another one in a similar situation. She did. Somehow in the conversation my name came up (she also brought it to the attention of the pastor)
Said former youth BLASTED me, telling me that the interim said I was "prying" and that I hurt him by saying in an IM conversation that he needed to get his priorities straight. After being apalled at being accused of such an action, I kindly offered to send him the conversation we had (I saved it for the interim to read and also present to the pastor if need be. We YM's have to document everything these days) All I got in return was "yes you did say it, yes C did say you were prying....say out of our business....." (I was also blamed for "leaving" the youth group and not caring one iota about them because NC was more important) Uhhh, Gladly but if I am asked what to do by ANY YM in that situation, what would you like me to say??? "Oh let them do what they want. It's not a big deal because _____ is a good kid. He should be allowed to bend the rules. Don't worry."
Pssshhhyeah...I don't think so.
So, I let it all go with this post. It's pretty sad that people can't see when you are trying to help someone who is asking for help what to do in a serious situation. Especially when said serious situation involves them, and they only want what THEY want and following the diocesean rules go against what they want. You can't make up/bend/break the rules to suit YOU.
I'll "bud out" and hope that someday you will learn that your actions are hurtful to the youth group, and yourself. Until then...farewell.
You see, this Interim was one of my volunteers and when the last YM was let go, she stepped up to help make sure the group was kept going. She along with another volunteer I had out in CA kept some key programs running at the church over the last few months. Along, with the leadership team that was in place before I got there and when I left, they have done an amaxing job and I am so proud of their hard work and dedication. I digress.
This interim has come to me asking my advice and what procedures to follow regarding the ministry. I have offered her advice, and she is free to take it, use it, or not. The choice is hers.
Well, what does this have to do with a former youth? I'll tell you. This former youth began to like another youth group member. No big deal right? Wrong. Said former youth is 18....in college....a young adult volunteer (who is trying to play himself off as "still a member of youth ministry.")...and the youth he likes (and wants to date)is 16. Anyone see anything wrong here? Interim asked what to do. I told her to look up what the Diocese says, and to discuss it with this young adult and another one in a similar situation. She did. Somehow in the conversation my name came up (she also brought it to the attention of the pastor)
Said former youth BLASTED me, telling me that the interim said I was "prying" and that I hurt him by saying in an IM conversation that he needed to get his priorities straight. After being apalled at being accused of such an action, I kindly offered to send him the conversation we had (I saved it for the interim to read and also present to the pastor if need be. We YM's have to document everything these days) All I got in return was "yes you did say it, yes C did say you were prying....say out of our business....." (I was also blamed for "leaving" the youth group and not caring one iota about them because NC was more important) Uhhh, Gladly but if I am asked what to do by ANY YM in that situation, what would you like me to say??? "Oh let them do what they want. It's not a big deal because _____ is a good kid. He should be allowed to bend the rules. Don't worry."
Pssshhhyeah...I don't think so.
So, I let it all go with this post. It's pretty sad that people can't see when you are trying to help someone who is asking for help what to do in a serious situation. Especially when said serious situation involves them, and they only want what THEY want and following the diocesean rules go against what they want. You can't make up/bend/break the rules to suit YOU.
I'll "bud out" and hope that someday you will learn that your actions are hurtful to the youth group, and yourself. Until then...farewell.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
He's the best husband EVER
Alot of women can claim that their husband is the best ever. I am not going to argue that my husband is better than yours or your sisters, or your mother, mother in law, etc and so on. I am simply here to explain why MY husband is the best.
He loves me even when i have a bad day.
Yes, ladies, when I have a bad hair day, a PMS day, a day where I hate everything and everyone, he does something silly or goofy to cheer me up. Or he simply says "I'm sorry baby" and gives me his cute smile, and a kiss and my world is transformed.
He loves me through the rough times.
I've been judged by friends and family, put down for my religious stance, even bashed for it. Publically attacked by people I don't know, verbally and emotionally abused in my past, struggled with forgiveness....and yet, he's there. He's never turned his back on me, or made light of my situations, or held my past against me as if I were some criminal. He loves me through it all. No matter what.
He takes care of me.
If you will recall, I broke my ankle in June and he took such good care of me without one single complaint. Well, unless you count getting mad at the wheelchair....but that thing made me mad, so does it count???? He helped me stand up at the top of the stairs, when the cast on my leg limited my movements. He got me food, drinks, snacks, etc when I was limited to just laying on the couch. He helped me put on DAS BOOT, drove me allover Burlington and Greensboro, brought me lunch from Zack's, put my brace on for me, put my shoes on and tied them (something he still helps me do now that I am further along in my pregnancy). He took me shopping to get me out of the house.
Through it all....not ONE COMPLAINT!!!! EVER!!!!!!
He appreciates me
And I him. I make dinner, he compliments me. I think we all take those we love for granted, but He does a great job appreciating even the little things.
He loves me.
Even when I forget to do something. he never makes me feel stupid for it. Even if I accidentally cough on him, he shows signs of irritation, but then we laugh it off (after I remind him that he farts on me quite often). He loves me no matter how silly, dumb, accident prone, or stupid I may be at times.
He forgives me
Enough said. Even if we fight and I throw my crutches down the stairs (cause I was really sick of those things at that point). Even if we fight over something stupid. He forgives me, I forgive him, and it's never thrown back in one anothers face. It's forgiven.
So much more I could write, and I will....this is just a few of the many things that make him the best husband ever.............I love you Derek.
He loves me even when i have a bad day.
Yes, ladies, when I have a bad hair day, a PMS day, a day where I hate everything and everyone, he does something silly or goofy to cheer me up. Or he simply says "I'm sorry baby" and gives me his cute smile, and a kiss and my world is transformed.
He loves me through the rough times.
I've been judged by friends and family, put down for my religious stance, even bashed for it. Publically attacked by people I don't know, verbally and emotionally abused in my past, struggled with forgiveness....and yet, he's there. He's never turned his back on me, or made light of my situations, or held my past against me as if I were some criminal. He loves me through it all. No matter what.
He takes care of me.
If you will recall, I broke my ankle in June and he took such good care of me without one single complaint. Well, unless you count getting mad at the wheelchair....but that thing made me mad, so does it count???? He helped me stand up at the top of the stairs, when the cast on my leg limited my movements. He got me food, drinks, snacks, etc when I was limited to just laying on the couch. He helped me put on DAS BOOT, drove me allover Burlington and Greensboro, brought me lunch from Zack's, put my brace on for me, put my shoes on and tied them (something he still helps me do now that I am further along in my pregnancy). He took me shopping to get me out of the house.
Through it all....not ONE COMPLAINT!!!! EVER!!!!!!
He appreciates me
And I him. I make dinner, he compliments me. I think we all take those we love for granted, but He does a great job appreciating even the little things.
He loves me.
Even when I forget to do something. he never makes me feel stupid for it. Even if I accidentally cough on him, he shows signs of irritation, but then we laugh it off (after I remind him that he farts on me quite often). He loves me no matter how silly, dumb, accident prone, or stupid I may be at times.
He forgives me
Enough said. Even if we fight and I throw my crutches down the stairs (cause I was really sick of those things at that point). Even if we fight over something stupid. He forgives me, I forgive him, and it's never thrown back in one anothers face. It's forgiven.
So much more I could write, and I will....this is just a few of the many things that make him the best husband ever.............I love you Derek.
No Time
I have no time for cowards, and he/she has been given plenty of time to explain, so I shall move on. In the future if you plan to lurk for more than a few mins, comment. Don't just look at Derek's blog, come over to mine and not comment. Don't be a coward if you are going to comment. If I wasn't willing to answer for my actions, i would not put my thoughts out there nor would I put info out there for you to use "against" me.
In other news, busy week. I should be getting ready for work instead of blogging, so I will sign off here with the promise of an update soon.
In other news, busy week. I should be getting ready for work instead of blogging, so I will sign off here with the promise of an update soon.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Insert jeopardy theme here
Ok....you know who you are...this post is for you....comments are open....feel free to explain, bash, pass judgment, clarify what you said here
I'm looking forward to your response. :)
I'm looking forward to your response. :)
Thoughts on Football
Todd's question about naysayers and Michigan got me thinking about this. (Note: Todd this is not a slam on you. Your question just stirred some thoughts in me.)
Alot of people say things like "Oh we're playing XYZ team, this will be an easy win." GAH STOP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT!!! Seriously I hear so many USC fans saying that and it pisses me off to no end. No, the team needs to show up for the game no matter WHO you play,. If your team takes the "oh easy win cause it's only ______" and they don't show up for the game or they play easy thinking it will get them TD's and field goals...yep...you better be ready for the naysayers.
USC lost to Texas in 2006 because of stupid plays by Bush and because Texas honed in on their defensive and offensive weaknesses. UCLA lost to Utah because they probably thought it would be an easy win last week....they were proven wrong weren't they?
You cannot go into a game thinking it will be an easy win. You do a disservice to your team and your fans by not being on the ball. Mistakes happen, I realize this. Last yr I am sure USC had it in the bag with UCLA...who won that game? Yep...UCLA. Because something happened with USC and they were not on their game. You all know I hate UCLA, but I will be the first to criticize my team for their piss poor playing if they deserve the loss.
Fans: making excuses for why your team lost to an "easy win" is just downright stupid. Just admit that your team played bad. It won't make you less of a fan, it won't get you thrown out of the state, etc. Also please stop being bitter about past losses.
Seriously, I have to pick on Michigan fans for a bit. In 2002, Michigan lost to Ohio State. Someone can refresh my memory but it was a close game. I was dating an OSU fan at the time and his BIL is the BIGGEST Michigan fan I have ever met. He is a UM alumni, so in his eyes, it doesn't matter who is #1....Michigan is always the best, never overrated.
Anyway, the guy I was dating wanted, as a joke to send a card that had a pic of the scoreboard from that day. I thought it was a funny joke, would have laughed if someone did that for me with a USC/UCLA game, and his mom was practically mortified and said "If you value your relationship with _____ don't do it. he;s very sensitive about that loss and his team. He would not even talk to your dad afterwards."
WTF????? That right there turned me off to Michigan...forever. Trash talk and whining turns me off to teams. Miami fans....horrible people. They got in my face at a Duke game...I got into theirs.....play a real team Miami (sorry honey) and then we'll talk. UNC Chapel Hill fans are just as nasty. It doesn't matter what sport it is....they will trash anyone. UCLA fans...please. And trust me I know USC fans are no better.
get over it people....just enjoy the game, and stop thinking your teams poop doesn't stink. It's so annoying.
Alot of people say things like "Oh we're playing XYZ team, this will be an easy win." GAH STOP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT!!! Seriously I hear so many USC fans saying that and it pisses me off to no end. No, the team needs to show up for the game no matter WHO you play,. If your team takes the "oh easy win cause it's only ______" and they don't show up for the game or they play easy thinking it will get them TD's and field goals...yep...you better be ready for the naysayers.
USC lost to Texas in 2006 because of stupid plays by Bush and because Texas honed in on their defensive and offensive weaknesses. UCLA lost to Utah because they probably thought it would be an easy win last week....they were proven wrong weren't they?
You cannot go into a game thinking it will be an easy win. You do a disservice to your team and your fans by not being on the ball. Mistakes happen, I realize this. Last yr I am sure USC had it in the bag with UCLA...who won that game? Yep...UCLA. Because something happened with USC and they were not on their game. You all know I hate UCLA, but I will be the first to criticize my team for their piss poor playing if they deserve the loss.
Fans: making excuses for why your team lost to an "easy win" is just downright stupid. Just admit that your team played bad. It won't make you less of a fan, it won't get you thrown out of the state, etc. Also please stop being bitter about past losses.
Seriously, I have to pick on Michigan fans for a bit. In 2002, Michigan lost to Ohio State. Someone can refresh my memory but it was a close game. I was dating an OSU fan at the time and his BIL is the BIGGEST Michigan fan I have ever met. He is a UM alumni, so in his eyes, it doesn't matter who is #1....Michigan is always the best, never overrated.
Anyway, the guy I was dating wanted, as a joke to send a card that had a pic of the scoreboard from that day. I thought it was a funny joke, would have laughed if someone did that for me with a USC/UCLA game, and his mom was practically mortified and said "If you value your relationship with _____ don't do it. he;s very sensitive about that loss and his team. He would not even talk to your dad afterwards."
WTF????? That right there turned me off to Michigan...forever. Trash talk and whining turns me off to teams. Miami fans....horrible people. They got in my face at a Duke game...I got into theirs.....play a real team Miami (sorry honey) and then we'll talk. UNC Chapel Hill fans are just as nasty. It doesn't matter what sport it is....they will trash anyone. UCLA fans...please. And trust me I know USC fans are no better.
get over it people....just enjoy the game, and stop thinking your teams poop doesn't stink. It's so annoying.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Worries and fears....comes with the territory
7.5 weeks left. That sounds so short yet so long. My life is about to change forever. It has changed. It changed on March 13, 2007. I am a mom. My life no longer revolves around me, but around the health and well being of my child. With this realization, I've pondered many fears and worries. I know long time parents will tell me this is normal. I believe that. I just need a place to put down my thoughts. I am not looking for a "Don't worry you'll be a great mom" comments. Or "I know you are worried but..." you know? I love that my friends and family are so very reassuring in all of this. I just want to put down my thoughts. So please do not feel obligated to comments (though, I must say some lurkers here and at Derek's blog have been quite amusing)
I fear: Having my child early. This quite honestly sounds completely selfish. I want her here, yes, but I want her to come when she is ready, when she is able to not have to be on machines, and when I can be INSANELY selfish and bring her home when I go home. I do not want her to suffer in any way, shape or form. I don't want her to spend one night without Derek or I close by.
I fear: judgment. "She's too skinny" "you should really consider a more Catholic approach" You should do it this way or that way. Granted I have been guilty on MORE than one occasion of offering unsolicited advice. But I know that things will be said behind my back of how I am raising my child. I know who will say it. She and I butt heads even on how my sister raises her kids (which by the way, if you know my sisters kids and you know why this person disagrees, you really would laugh so hard you would pee your pants. While I don't agree with EVERYTHING my sister and BIL do, they do have really well behaved children who have as good of manners as any 10, 5, 2 and 1 yr old can have). I fear that she will think I am too strict (this other family memeber). I should not care about it, and likely this fear will go away. I just hate knowing that "they" will call my sister when they disagree with stuff.
I fear not teaching her the right things, or how to handle situations properly.
I fear that she will disown me when she is a teenager.
I fear she will turn her back on God.
I worry i will not be able to protect her from broken hearts (those will happen), broken friendships, mean people, accidents ( I know those happen too), and a plethora of other things that will open her eyes to an imperfect world. I know I can't protect her and doing so would shelter her far too much in this world. But I don't ever want her to hurt as I have in my past.
I worry that I will fuss over and worry about her too much.
When I typed these I thought, these are perfectly normal fears and perfectly insane too. I can't protect her form everything. I will protect her to the best of my abilities, but I also do not want her to have the rudest awakening when she gets older. I want her to know that there is both good and bad in this world and it's how you forgive, love and treat others that matters most....above all, it's how much faith, hope and love you have in God that will most definitely see you through it all.
I'm going to be a mom, and I'm going to do my best. Bear with me. Be with me God.
I fear: Having my child early. This quite honestly sounds completely selfish. I want her here, yes, but I want her to come when she is ready, when she is able to not have to be on machines, and when I can be INSANELY selfish and bring her home when I go home. I do not want her to suffer in any way, shape or form. I don't want her to spend one night without Derek or I close by.
I fear: judgment. "She's too skinny" "you should really consider a more Catholic approach" You should do it this way or that way. Granted I have been guilty on MORE than one occasion of offering unsolicited advice. But I know that things will be said behind my back of how I am raising my child. I know who will say it. She and I butt heads even on how my sister raises her kids (which by the way, if you know my sisters kids and you know why this person disagrees, you really would laugh so hard you would pee your pants. While I don't agree with EVERYTHING my sister and BIL do, they do have really well behaved children who have as good of manners as any 10, 5, 2 and 1 yr old can have). I fear that she will think I am too strict (this other family memeber). I should not care about it, and likely this fear will go away. I just hate knowing that "they" will call my sister when they disagree with stuff.
I fear not teaching her the right things, or how to handle situations properly.
I fear that she will disown me when she is a teenager.
I fear she will turn her back on God.
I worry i will not be able to protect her from broken hearts (those will happen), broken friendships, mean people, accidents ( I know those happen too), and a plethora of other things that will open her eyes to an imperfect world. I know I can't protect her and doing so would shelter her far too much in this world. But I don't ever want her to hurt as I have in my past.
I worry that I will fuss over and worry about her too much.
When I typed these I thought, these are perfectly normal fears and perfectly insane too. I can't protect her form everything. I will protect her to the best of my abilities, but I also do not want her to have the rudest awakening when she gets older. I want her to know that there is both good and bad in this world and it's how you forgive, love and treat others that matters most....above all, it's how much faith, hope and love you have in God that will most definitely see you through it all.
I'm going to be a mom, and I'm going to do my best. Bear with me. Be with me God.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Premature posting?
Perhaps I should wait until the day is almost done before I post to the blog? Perhaps, but I also don't want to keep certain posts at the top of my blog...in an effort to remind myself that certain things need to be put on the back burner for prayer and healing at the moment and other things need to receive more attention at this moment in life.
Like Child birth classes which start tonight. Luckily we know, er, I know the instructor, so that comfort level is esablished. Not that I/we expect preferential treatment, but it feels good knowing we will be taught by someone we are familiar with as opposed to a stranger.
A friend of mine said they watched a video of an actual childbirth, at her class, which grossed her out. While on one hand I want to say "What? Why? It's just childbirth. It's what happens every day, why is that gross?" On the otherhand, I truly can see why she was grossed out by it. While it happens everyday, it's not something we watch, or are truly fascinated by. Well, some people are, but that's another story for another day. I hope 2 things:
1. Should we watch said video, I hope I don't get grossed/freaked out as well. That tends to happen to me from time to time and I am already feeling self conscious about what little amount of modesty will be displayed in the delivery room, as it is.
2. That Derek doesn't get freaked out. He's already semi-worried about the epidural. I don't want to give him any more things to be freaked about.
I'll post an update after tonights class.
Like Child birth classes which start tonight. Luckily we know, er, I know the instructor, so that comfort level is esablished. Not that I/we expect preferential treatment, but it feels good knowing we will be taught by someone we are familiar with as opposed to a stranger.
A friend of mine said they watched a video of an actual childbirth, at her class, which grossed her out. While on one hand I want to say "What? Why? It's just childbirth. It's what happens every day, why is that gross?" On the otherhand, I truly can see why she was grossed out by it. While it happens everyday, it's not something we watch, or are truly fascinated by. Well, some people are, but that's another story for another day. I hope 2 things:
1. Should we watch said video, I hope I don't get grossed/freaked out as well. That tends to happen to me from time to time and I am already feeling self conscious about what little amount of modesty will be displayed in the delivery room, as it is.
2. That Derek doesn't get freaked out. He's already semi-worried about the epidural. I don't want to give him any more things to be freaked about.
I'll post an update after tonights class.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Snip snip
For the health and safety of my daughter I have to separate both friendship and other things with a couple people for a while. No, no one has threatened her life, no one has threatened mine. It's just that there is too much hurt to continue much of anything at this point. Will it ever get better? I don't know....at this point I just don't know. I guess in some peoples eyes, I should be the one who steps up and does all the work. In my eyes we work together. That's what friends do.
3 years ago I abandoned and wrote of one of my best friends. I literally picked up the phone and said some really horrible things. Ended our friendship....a yr later I begged forgiveness and we worked together to mend our broken friendship. 2 yrs later she stood up for me as the maid of honor at my wedding. I made the first move because I was 100% in the wrong. I am the first person to take responsibility for my actions...and anyone who knows me knows this.
We fixed things together we sought healing together. It was not one sided.
I wish all friends could work together with me like Julie did. it would certainly make things easier. I was willing, and will be one day. But I can't risk the health of my daughter right now. She needs to be my focus. So, you know how to get a hold of me. You have my phone number, you have my email......I will cease to blog about you from here on out. I admitted I was wrong, you admitted you were not ready to work it out...or one of you wanted to separate this from that...I don't know anymore. I am so consumed with hurt. I can't see straight...I need to take care of my daughter.
This is the end....for now. (not the end of this blog....life will go on)
3 years ago I abandoned and wrote of one of my best friends. I literally picked up the phone and said some really horrible things. Ended our friendship....a yr later I begged forgiveness and we worked together to mend our broken friendship. 2 yrs later she stood up for me as the maid of honor at my wedding. I made the first move because I was 100% in the wrong. I am the first person to take responsibility for my actions...and anyone who knows me knows this.
We fixed things together we sought healing together. It was not one sided.
I wish all friends could work together with me like Julie did. it would certainly make things easier. I was willing, and will be one day. But I can't risk the health of my daughter right now. She needs to be my focus. So, you know how to get a hold of me. You have my phone number, you have my email......I will cease to blog about you from here on out. I admitted I was wrong, you admitted you were not ready to work it out...or one of you wanted to separate this from that...I don't know anymore. I am so consumed with hurt. I can't see straight...I need to take care of my daughter.
This is the end....for now. (not the end of this blog....life will go on)
I love it when this happens
So being a total dufus and forgetting that there is no school tomorrow, I went over to drop off some reminders for the teachers to hand out...tomorrow. Luckily one of the aides reminded me there was no school and I quickly (as quickly a the elevator would move in the old school) got myself upstairs and had to interrupt all 6 middle school classes to ask the teachers to pass the reminders out today.
I felt bad about interrupting the classes, but all of the teachers were very nice and told me not to worry about it. Thank God for building good relationships with them last yr.
Anyway one thing happened that really made my day. You see, as I have posted below, my hormones are off the richter scale and my thoughts and worries have consumed me about Marisa being here in a mere 8 weeks. So my attitude has been less than desireable (Thanks honey for being so understanding and for making me laugh when I feel like a monster pregnant lady), and when I walked the hallways and walked into classrooms and kids were like "HI KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and whispering hi to me in class (when they should be working/listening) it just made my heart happy.
I love my job. I love that I had to go upstairs and interrupt classes today :)
I felt bad about interrupting the classes, but all of the teachers were very nice and told me not to worry about it. Thank God for building good relationships with them last yr.
Anyway one thing happened that really made my day. You see, as I have posted below, my hormones are off the richter scale and my thoughts and worries have consumed me about Marisa being here in a mere 8 weeks. So my attitude has been less than desireable (Thanks honey for being so understanding and for making me laugh when I feel like a monster pregnant lady), and when I walked the hallways and walked into classrooms and kids were like "HI KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and whispering hi to me in class (when they should be working/listening) it just made my heart happy.
I love my job. I love that I had to go upstairs and interrupt classes today :)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
raise your hand if you think......
....I'm a bad influence.. Go on, I won't get offended.
Oh look I think I see someone in my family raising their hand.....nice.
Oh look I think I see someone in my family raising their hand.....nice.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Crabby
OMG, I am so dang crabby today!!!!!! So just for all this you have to hear why:
1. Still mad that no one who is hoping for "restoration and reconciliation" has the balls to help achieve it. Ignoring the situation is not going to bring it forth guys. there needs to be communication. For those of you continuing to ignore it, acting like we should be friends and not talk about it, it's not going away until you work with us to begin the healing process. So yeah, I'll continue to be upset about it until you are ready to own up and say "ok let's clear the air here." Though i often wonder......if there are some of you who just want us to go away....comment box is open...just be honest already. Gosh dang.
2. The Panthers lost...UGH!!!!!!
3. I hate when people say I don't look pregnant, I'm tiny, etc. SERIOUSLY ENOUGH ALREADY PEOPLE. My God.
I've been watching too much Bridezilla's....if my daughter acts like this or any of my nieces act like this.....I'm smacking them.
1. Still mad that no one who is hoping for "restoration and reconciliation" has the balls to help achieve it. Ignoring the situation is not going to bring it forth guys. there needs to be communication. For those of you continuing to ignore it, acting like we should be friends and not talk about it, it's not going away until you work with us to begin the healing process. So yeah, I'll continue to be upset about it until you are ready to own up and say "ok let's clear the air here." Though i often wonder......if there are some of you who just want us to go away....comment box is open...just be honest already. Gosh dang.
2. The Panthers lost...UGH!!!!!!
3. I hate when people say I don't look pregnant, I'm tiny, etc. SERIOUSLY ENOUGH ALREADY PEOPLE. My God.
I've been watching too much Bridezilla's....if my daughter acts like this or any of my nieces act like this.....I'm smacking them.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Accomplished!!!!!
That is how I feel today. I feel like I got alot done. I called the VW place and did some switching of payment dates to help with bill stuff for Derek and I. got info about getting the name changed on the loan and all. Then I went to Wal Mart got Derek a new fan, and a few other things, went to the vet and got some Revolution for the 3 remaining cats who need to be treated for fleas (yes, we found some and those suckers are HISTORY I tell you. Leave my baby kitties alone you blood sucking butt faces!!!!), then I went to the store picked up some stuff for dinner (veggies, pot roast, onion soup mix) and some fruit (mmmm, fruit, good for you). Now I am home making egg salad for lunch. Pretty productive...sorta.
While I am proud of my abilities to not give in to the temptation of buying stuff (aka junk food) at the store that I don't need, making important phone calls, getting things done that need to get done, I am looking around my house thinking....crap, I should like scour this whole place. However. The vacuum cleaner is upstairs. It weighs 26 lbs. I am NOT, repeat, NOT carrying that thing downstairs. Derek said he'd vacuum tomorrow but still. Maybe I should get off the computer and dust. I feel like such a bad wife at times like this. I keep telling myself that when I am a mom I'll probably clean more because I won't want the baby to be around dust and all. I also don't want to be lazy. I mean don't get me wrong this place isn't so bad that the health dept would arrest us or condemn the house, but still.
How does one break oneself of this cycle??? Ugh!!!!! I know I will get better at it. I just have to get motivated. Motivation...hmmmm. I could use some motivation in lots of aspects of my life....like sometimes at work I lack it...but then other days...WATCH OUT. Motivation City!!!!
Today though? Unmotivated...well, sorta I guess if you look at all I've accomplished in a short amount of time already.
:)
While I am proud of my abilities to not give in to the temptation of buying stuff (aka junk food) at the store that I don't need, making important phone calls, getting things done that need to get done, I am looking around my house thinking....crap, I should like scour this whole place. However. The vacuum cleaner is upstairs. It weighs 26 lbs. I am NOT, repeat, NOT carrying that thing downstairs. Derek said he'd vacuum tomorrow but still. Maybe I should get off the computer and dust. I feel like such a bad wife at times like this. I keep telling myself that when I am a mom I'll probably clean more because I won't want the baby to be around dust and all. I also don't want to be lazy. I mean don't get me wrong this place isn't so bad that the health dept would arrest us or condemn the house, but still.
How does one break oneself of this cycle??? Ugh!!!!! I know I will get better at it. I just have to get motivated. Motivation...hmmmm. I could use some motivation in lots of aspects of my life....like sometimes at work I lack it...but then other days...WATCH OUT. Motivation City!!!!
Today though? Unmotivated...well, sorta I guess if you look at all I've accomplished in a short amount of time already.
:)
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I have decided
I have nothing to hide from anyone. This is how I feel. I've been hurt...yes, but I have the right to express said hurt if I want to and let "the whole world know" if I so choose.
If you don't like it....don't link me to your blog, don't read and don't lurk. (leave a comment, don't just lurk)
If you don't like it....don't link me to your blog, don't read and don't lurk. (leave a comment, don't just lurk)
Thursday, September 06, 2007
This sticks out to me on so many levels and I'll tell you why
"I don't want to defame or slander anyone, but I feel a sense of relief at this decision. I feel safer posting here knowing that the Admins and Mods take situations seriously, especially since I have felt like my hands were tied sometimes in situations because of the people involved- it felt fruitless to report sometimes, and when I tried to approach and resolve issues that was also fruitless.
I am sure that there is more to this story, from both sides, than we know. and I am sure than many of us have personal sides to this story. I pray for healing for all sides."
1. The person who posted this on the YMX boards is also the person who plays the victim to anyone who disagrees with her in any situation and then proceeds to PM them telling them how they should/should not post because of "how it is making them look to the rest of the community. Also that you might want to watch how you post things next time." Ok yeah, like I am not aware of things when I post. I post things and I know full well that I may/may not get criticized for it. The thing is I have thick skin and I don't need to run to the mods every time someone questions my opinion. I'm sorry that you didn't like my posting style. I didn't always agree with yours, but I never posted about it publicly on YMX.
2. This same person took it upon herself to PM a couple members to FURTHER justify her post above in hopes to garner support for her actions. According to YMX policy she should have been banned for the above post. yet when a PM was reported....nothing was done. Why? I could speculate(probably be wrong) and say it is because we have been banned and the admins do not feel that any action is necessary. Gee thanks.
3. If you are praying for healing for me....why did you post what you did above? All that does is garner anger and make you look like your prayers are not as sincere as you so "intend" them to be.
So....get over yourself. Grow up and stop with this victim attitude. You're making yourself look bad in your posts. Just want you to know you might want to watch what you say in your posts
I am sure that there is more to this story, from both sides, than we know. and I am sure than many of us have personal sides to this story. I pray for healing for all sides."
1. The person who posted this on the YMX boards is also the person who plays the victim to anyone who disagrees with her in any situation and then proceeds to PM them telling them how they should/should not post because of "how it is making them look to the rest of the community. Also that you might want to watch how you post things next time." Ok yeah, like I am not aware of things when I post. I post things and I know full well that I may/may not get criticized for it. The thing is I have thick skin and I don't need to run to the mods every time someone questions my opinion. I'm sorry that you didn't like my posting style. I didn't always agree with yours, but I never posted about it publicly on YMX.
2. This same person took it upon herself to PM a couple members to FURTHER justify her post above in hopes to garner support for her actions. According to YMX policy she should have been banned for the above post. yet when a PM was reported....nothing was done. Why? I could speculate(probably be wrong) and say it is because we have been banned and the admins do not feel that any action is necessary. Gee thanks.
3. If you are praying for healing for me....why did you post what you did above? All that does is garner anger and make you look like your prayers are not as sincere as you so "intend" them to be.
So....get over yourself. Grow up and stop with this victim attitude. You're making yourself look bad in your posts. Just want you to know you might want to watch what you say in your posts
Alot has happened over the last few days and Derek has been blogging about it alot on his blog (which has caused quite a stir with one or two people)
I find it funny that YMX seems to have it in their minds that they have rid themselves of their "problem", and yet, they will now have to deal with the antics of someone else who shall not be named. Good luck to you guys.
They want to control YMX to be the perfect community that some lack in their own church (note that is speculation, not fact) yet, you fail to realize that just because you say your site is for youth workers does not mean that everyone is going to come together, hold hands, and sing kumbaya.
The Republicans and Democrats can't do it, the Church leaders and Jesus couldn't do it. How is it YMX will??? You will always have issues, you will always have people who disagree. It happens.
I find it funny that YMX seems to have it in their minds that they have rid themselves of their "problem", and yet, they will now have to deal with the antics of someone else who shall not be named. Good luck to you guys.
They want to control YMX to be the perfect community that some lack in their own church (note that is speculation, not fact) yet, you fail to realize that just because you say your site is for youth workers does not mean that everyone is going to come together, hold hands, and sing kumbaya.
The Republicans and Democrats can't do it, the Church leaders and Jesus couldn't do it. How is it YMX will??? You will always have issues, you will always have people who disagree. It happens.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
To: Katie From: YMX
" Sorry disneykat, you are banned from using this forum!
See email message sent 9/3/2007"
The funny thing is....my yahoo inbox is empty. Therefore I have no idea on what grounds. I wish someone would read this and get the message to the appropriate people because as of now....this confuses me as to why. I could make unfair assumptions, but I'd rather see said email. My attempts to IM Adam and ask him to send it to the correct email (All I did was send what you see above and ask him to send it to the correct email....I was done, no more discussion with him) resulted in his immediate logging off without an answer.
My inbox is still empty. I'm not going to put up a fight, or a stink. I just want to know on what grounds I am being removed from the "community".
Edit: I received and email, but it does not discuss why I am being banned...only why Derek is. I'm very confused, but I have been told that if it is discussed on my blog I will suffer a permanent ban.
So long YMX it was nice knowing you.
See email message sent 9/3/2007"
The funny thing is....my yahoo inbox is empty. Therefore I have no idea on what grounds. I wish someone would read this and get the message to the appropriate people because as of now....this confuses me as to why. I could make unfair assumptions, but I'd rather see said email. My attempts to IM Adam and ask him to send it to the correct email (All I did was send what you see above and ask him to send it to the correct email....I was done, no more discussion with him) resulted in his immediate logging off without an answer.
My inbox is still empty. I'm not going to put up a fight, or a stink. I just want to know on what grounds I am being removed from the "community".
Edit: I received and email, but it does not discuss why I am being banned...only why Derek is. I'm very confused, but I have been told that if it is discussed on my blog I will suffer a permanent ban.
So long YMX it was nice knowing you.
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