I've been contemplating what to write in my first new post in the private sector. At first I thought of writing about my recent frustrations, but that would prove to be useless and a waste of time and energy. I'm tired of being stressed about YMX. It's caused more grief for me in the last 3 months than I ever care to have again. For the sake of those of you who do not know, I am no longer posting there anymore. If a sight can tell me that my "friends" are free to bash the Catholic Church...or any church for that matter...I want no part of it. That is all I will say about that.
On the Marisa front: She's kicking....ALOT. I see this new movement as a two fold adventure. On one hand it's so exciting to feel her move. she seems to really like the right side of my belly. It's fun to see my skin kinda "pulse" when she kicks. I mean Derek and I were almost squealing with excitement, and then....we became the lame first time parents. We started videotaping it. Yes, yes at 18 Marisa will suffer the embarrassment of us showing her video of her mothers white belly and then a little "blip" of her kicking me. WE...ARE...LAME. But it's funny.
Ok, the weird side of all of this is, she kicks and it's like...ok this body is no longer mine anymore. it belongs to my child. Seriously....it's not mine. I live to eat, drink, sleep, and nurture my child. How WEIRD is that? I'm used to eating and drinking and what not for me. Now it's for this little child inside of me. INSIDE of ME...I'm still in awe of that. 6 months later. Every time we hear the heartbeat at the Dr. I still can't get over the fact that in a few short months, I will be holding her in my arms. What will that feel like? I don't know. I only have the feeling of holding my nieces and nephews for the first time to draw from, but even that will pale in comparison I am sure.
What I do know is this....I can't wait to see her and I can't WAIT to see the look on Derek's face the moment he lays eyes on her.
Time for a tissue.
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4 comments:
The first time you hold her will be surreal. Gracie was placed in my arms and the only words that came out my mouth were "Thank You, Jesus!" My heart felt so full, I thought it would bust. I know that sounds weird, but it's the only way I can describe the feeling. For the first time in my life, the empty arms craving a child were filled.
Now I need a tissue!
I've never been pregnant, but I can say there is NOTHING like seeing and holding your child for the first time. Enjoy it all, it goes so fast. I know everyone tells you that, but it really does.
Once I had my babies in my arms, I missed them sharing my space :) It's amazing and miraculous to carry them inside or out.
I wish I could be there to see the look on Derek's face, but I have a feeling that that look will not go away for a long time! I am so happy for you two!
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